Unsolicited Sex Toy Review: Doc Johnson Lucid Dream #14 Multi-Speed Waterproof G-Spot Vibrator

Hello, baby.

I'm not much for sex toy reviews. I think they're a lazy source for blog content.

But.

I was watching some PornHub (as one does) one afternoon and while trawling through the squirt category (as one does) I found a clip of a cute blonde girl who gushed copiously thanks to a grape jelly-colored toy. (Sidebar? Unless you really loved the soundtrack to Dazed and Confused, watch that video on mute. End sidebar.) I immediately opened a new tab and searched Amazon for "purple vibrator."

After flipping through a few pages, I found my new pal, the Doc Johnson Lucid Dream #14 Multi-Speed Waterproof G-Spot Vibrator, and at $15 with shipping, I couldn't pass on it.

The packaging, adorned with flowers and swirly lettering, has a fun, psychedelic, Haight-Ashbury circa 1969 look. The toy takes two AA batteries (not included). That white part at the bottom screws off and the batteries pop in. There's a silicone o-ring inside the battery case that's supposed to make the toy waterproof, but I've not tried taking it into the shower yet. It's supposedly made of pthalate-free vinyl, though even with several washings and airing out it retains a chemical smell--you should probably use a condom on it.

Once I put batteries in the toy and turned the knob at the bottom, I was shocked and impressed: It was practically silent. Even at the highest setting (which packs a punch) it emitted only a quiet thrum. As long as you masturbate quietly, nobody in the next room will ever be the wiser.

However, it will be hard to masturbate quietly with this thing, because oh my God. The thick nubbin at the head (where the buzzy part is) feels incredible against your clit. It feels even better when you slide it just inside your pussy, because the curve at the head snuggles up against your g-spot. It feels fantastic jammed deeply inside you, where the vibrations shake through your entire core.

The Lucid Dream #14 is cheap, cute, and quiet. There's a whole range of Doc Johnson Lucid Dream toys, so if a Doc Johnson PR person sees this post: I like your product. Please send me some more.